Part 4- Our Love Story

“When do you want to get married? Is this fall too soon?” That question was asked late afternoon on a Friday near the end of May as we worked on building a little cabin together. I kinda giggled and said “No, that would probably work!” We talked about previous commitments I had made and how they would all work into a fall wedding. I had to finish my nanny job that was going to be done in about 4 weeks, then I was supposed to come work at this summer camp for a few weeks.  

Ash stayed at the camp that night and I went back to my parents home.  My mom was the only one that talked to me, she was pretty upset and so was I so it wasn’t really a pleasant conversation. I went to bed and got up early the next day to go back to camp for the last day before Ash went home and I went out East for my nanny job. 
Ash and I continued our long distant unofficial engagement and after a few weeks we planned a weekend trip for me to fly to his state to visit him and his family.  I knew he was ring shopping so it was pretty clear what this trip was for. 

I remember that flight so well, I was just about to get on the plane when I got a phone call from my dad.  He knew what was planned and he was trying to do whatever he could do to break us apart. He told me if I said yes to Ash’s proposal my life would be ruined.  He tried to tell me I had no idea what I was doing or how bad Ash was. He really took the joy out of my trip, I remember my stomach being in knots and I couldn’t eat anything.  One minute I was sure I knew what I was doing and convinced that God was with me and I had prayed about this for so long I knew I was supposed to marry Ash, the next minute all the guilt and fear of not honoring my father would overwhelm me and I couldn’t even see straight.  The plane landed and I was walking through the airport in a daze trying to get to my luggage, suddenly, Ash was right there in front of me! In that moment all the fear and lies disappeared and I didn’t question what my answer was supposed to be to Ash. 

We got my bag and then headed to get some lunch. Ash’s whole family had come to get me and they had planned an afternoon at an indoor ice skating rink.  We got to his family’s home that late afternoon and his dad went to do something in the shop and his sister disappeared down stairs and his mom had some work to do in their office, so suddenly Ash and I were just standing in the living room alone and there was this awkward moment. 

Now, I knew he was planning on asking me to marry him, actually Ash can’t keep secrets so he had already told me he was going to ask me the first day I got there because we had such a short weekend together we had a lot of planning to get done.  So there I was, knowing what was going to happen sometime that evening. He was just standing there in this awkward silence so I said a long drawn out, “Soooooo”, meanding, “Soooo what are we gonna do?”  but he says to this day that I was saying “Soooo, when are you going to ask me”. He hollered to his mom that we were going to go for a drive and then he took my hand and said, “lets go look at my property”. We got in his Chevy truck and drove down the road a few miles to the 80 acres of land that he owned and had a mobile home on it. He had been building a porch on it and he said he wanted to show me. 

He stopped the truck right in front of the new porch, we got out and as I was walking up the stairs of his new porch he stopped me and took my hands and said, “Susie, This is all I have, it’s not much, and there’s not much money and times will be tough but I love you and I would do anything to make you happy, I promise I will work hard to take care of you and I will love you with my whole heart, nothing will ever change that. Will you marry me?  

My response was, “I would be honored to marry you” and he slipped a diamond on my finger. We stood there hugging for a long time.  I thought about how my dad was going to react and how things might be a little tough for us but I had no idea.  There was nothing “little” about the trouble that was coming our way. 

That weekend went by so fast, we got engagement pictures taken and started working on a guest list, designing our wedding invitations, deciding who would be in the wedding and most importantly what the date would be.  We settled on October, we had to work fast because we had 4 months to plan this wedding and I still had one more month committed to work at camp, so basically we had 3 months to get this all planned.  
Before I left for the airport that Monday his family stood around me and prayed for me because we all knew I was flying home to face a lot of pressure from my dad.  Those prayers gave me so much comfort and I felt ready to face what I had to.  Ash’s mom said right before I left, “If things get too hard or at any time you feel unsafe just know you are welcome here any time.”  I wonder if she knew how soon that would actually happen.

 I flew back out East to go on a little mini vacation with my aunts and uncles, who had up to this point supported Ash and I.  They knew how my dad could be and they stood by me.  On that trip my aunts helped me more with wedding plans and I even asked my uncle to walk me down the aisle because I knew my dad never would.  He cried and said yes he would love to. 

I flew home and started working at camp, my parents actually didn’t cause much trouble for me at that time.  I felt things might blow over and they maybe were going to just accept it.  My sister took me dress shopping and I picked out the most beautiful wedding dress at the first shop that fit in my budget.  I had asked for a number of my nieces and nephews and even a sister-in-law to be in my wedding and some had already given me a yes, some of my siblings were still on the fence just waiting to see how my dad handled it all. I worked at camp during the week and then on the weekend I was packing my childhood room and getting things ready for my move.  I was basically living in my car, and out of a suitcase.  Then came the day that my life would never be the same.

The camp that I was working at was managed by my sister and her husband, so one day at camp my sister came to me and said, “I have some people at my house that want to see you,”  She acted a little weird to me but I guess I didn’t think much about it so I left what I was doing and followed her to her house, I kept trying to ask her who it was but she just kept saying to wait till I got there. I had a really bad feeling in my stomach and something just didn’t feel right. I walked into her house and saw my dear Aunt and Uncle that had been so supportive of me up to this point.  I was so excited because they have only been out to visit maybe two other times my whole life.  I gave them a hug but instantly I knew something really bad was going on.  I felt sick.

 They sat me down and said my dad had been on the phone with my uncle for days now and they had been doing research and they found a bunch of bad things out about Ash. They pulled out a thick folder full of papers and handed it to me.  Remember how I told you that the people that got Ash sent to prison had a bunch of awful lies out there about him?  Yeah, well my dad got his hands on those lies and was in contact with the lires themselves and he was doing everything he could to find dirt on Ash.  My uncle and aunt just didn’t know what to believe, the stuff on paper was not good and believe me, it would have scared me too if I didn’t know it wasn’t true.  They told me Ash wasn’t a safe person and I was in danger.  

My whole world was spinning, quiet literally.  Everything was blurry, I remember my aunt on her knees in front of me asking me if I was ok.  I was in shock.  I didn’t respond, I didn’t cry, I didn’t breath.  I just sat there.  They all kept talking around me, and my sister tried to hand me a drink.  I got up and said I needed air. I walked into my sisters office and got my laptop and purse and still holding that fat file of lies I walked outside, I remember my aunt called out to me, “Susie, where are you going? Please be careful!”  I heard my sister say, “let her get some air”. I still felt like I couldn’t breath, I felt like the world was in slow motion around me.  I got in my car and started to drive…. I grabbed my cell phone and called Ash, he answered but I couldn’t speak, I still felt like I could barely breathe.  I just whispered something like “Ash…. Ash…”  He got worried and he tried to get me to tell him what was going on but I didn’t have any words. He hung up and called my sister’s husband because he knew I was at camp and he thought maybe I had fainted (Something that had happened to me a few times before because I have low blood sugar)  My brother-in-law just gave him some answer like, “she’s had a little shock”. Ash called me back and I was driving through town by then, I started to breath by now but the tears started to come… and it was July and my car didn’t have air conditioning.  I answered the call and I still didn’t have the words, all I got out was that my family had blind sighted me and they were all working together now to keep us apart.  I just said, “I am driving to you”.  He was worried about my state of driving but I was 7 hours away and I didn’t know who to trust. 

My phone started ringing like crazy, first my sister-in-law. Then my sister, my dad…. I don’t even know who all called.  I think I ignored most of them.  I honestly don’t know how I made it all the way in that state of mind.  God was protecting me because the whole trip is still a daze.  It was around 8 in the evening when I finally got to Ashton.  I just hugged him for the longest time.  We talked late into the night, he answered every question I had, he explained all the tiny truths that people had taken and worked into terrifying lies.  I felt completely at peace. I cannot explain it in words but when I was talking to him that night and looking him in the eyes I knew without a doubt that he was telling me the truth and God was with me and this was the man God wanted me to marry.  

I continued to get phone calls from my family and strangers.  My dad was giving my phone number to anyone that would believe the lies about Ash and he had people from the east and west coast call me.  People I had never talked to before in my life had my number and would call me and try to scare me out of marrying Ash.  I had a number of people tell me that if I married Ash my kids would be taken from me, and I would be abused.  My dad was so persistent he was convincing my brothers that Ash was evil and even my brothers, my closest friends, were calling me telling me things like “mark my word, in three years you will be at my doorstep with a child and a broken marriage.”  People were insane.  I got sick of it and I changed my phone number. 

I was living in Ash’s family’s home during this time.  They had been through a lot before this and now they all felt threatened and they didn’t know who to trust.  My dad was stirring up a lot of water and he was making trouble and they had their guard up.  Sometimes they didn’t even trust me, it was hard for all of us.  There was a lot of hurt and pain being brought up and lies being told about them.  I cannot blame them for not trusting me at times either, ever since I became engaged to their son things had been a mess.

Ash was always supportive and trusting of me though.  He and I just tried to push all this away from us and focus our wedding.  We wanted an outdoor wedding so we started clearing a beautiful spot in the woods for it. Still no one was prepared for the length my dad was willing to go to get us to break up.  

Since Ash was only out of prison by parole he had monthly visits with his parole officer. One day his PO asked that both he and I come into his office.  I was nervous but I figured this is just how things are going to be, we will get through this together. We walked into the office together and sat down, his PO was really a very nice man and he knew Ash didn’t deserve anything that he was getting but he had no control over this.  He told us that my dad had been calling everyone in the town and causing problems, they found a piece of paper work that was a typo but regardless it stated that Ash wasn’t allowed to be around any girls under the age of 28.  It was originally 18 but later we found out that it had been whited out and changed to 28. I don’t know to this day who did that but my dad had what he needed to keep us apart. I was only 19. 

Ash’s parole officer told us that after we left his office that day that if we saw each other again then Ash would be sent back to prison. My world was over…..

TO BE CONTINUED……

If you missed Part 1- Our Love Story. Check it out here! You aren’t going to want to miss out on Part 2- Our Love Story or Part 3- Our Love Story either! Be sure to check back soon for Part 5!