My brother said, “I’m here to take my sister home!”
I sat at the kitchen table getting weak, I didn’t want to keep being harassed! My family was convinced that I was brainwashed and they wouldn’t listen to me even if I tried.
My soon-to-be-father-in-law asked me if I wanted to talk to my brother and I said no. So he told my brother, “She isn’t being held here against her will, she wants to be here.” Then my brother started looking into the house windows, he spotted me at the table and he started yelling at me, “Susie!! Come here!! I just want to talk to you! You aren’t safe here”
My soon-to-be-father-in-law told my brother, “You need to leave my property or I am calling the police” My brother continued to yell at me through the windows, I was about to lose it, so my soon-to-be-mom-in-law told Ash to take me down stairs so I didn’t have to see this, and his dad came inside to call the police.
The local police knew what had been going on between us and my dad. Shoot, everyone in that tiny town seemed to know what kind of drama my dad was stirring up for my in-laws. So when they got the call that my brother was trying to take me home they just confirmed that I was definitely over 18 and then they said “well if she doesn’t want to go with him than no one can make her, we will send an officer out your way” When my brother heard the police where on their way he gave up and left.
Seeing my brother act so desperate and on the verge of being insane put me in a dark place for a little bit. That night I struggled. Satan really used all the lies about Ash’s and my future to frighten me. I was so angry at my dad for not only causing all of these problems for me but for destroying my relationship with my brothers too. I used to live with that brother when I left home at 17. It broke my heart so much. I felt so much darkness that night. I have never acutely, up till that point, truly believed in Spiritual Warfare until then. I felt evil around me, I’ve never been so scared of the dark until that night! Satan was outside of the basement door and I could feel his presents. I hid under my bed sheets just said over and over “Jesus”. Eventually I could feel the evil presence leave and finally I was able to cry myself to sleep.
A week before our wedding we got word that another brother (who had been on the line about our relationship) wanted to come to my wedding to support me, by that point Ash’s family rightfully didn’t trust anyone in my family at all so they told me to get word to that brother that he was not welcome on their property. They didn’t need our special day ruined by anymore of my family’s drama. That was really hard but I understood and told that brother he wasn’t welcome.
There was a lot of pain in my heart, I had no one to walk me down the aisle, so I asked Ash’s dad too. I had grown to love him a lot, he had been like a endearing “father” to me the last few months, something that I never experienced from my own dad. He agreed to and it was very sweet of him. Still, it hurt knowing every other man in my life had turned against me. The tension was so high that week. After a lot of thought we decided to cancel our appointment with the judge and just trust God to get us legally married on our wedding day.
We had searched long and hard for a pastor to marry us, once the first few pastors heard our story and how aggressive my dad had been they wanted nothing to do with us. Then we asked a pastor that agreed right away and he was wonderful. The sweetest gray haired man, with the biggest heart for people who were hurting. He knew Ash’s family from way back and he wasn’t afraid to support us.
The night of our wedding rehearsal was absolutely gorgeous! The little sanctuary we had made in the woods was everything I dreamed it would be and more. It was a fun evening with a few of my faithful friends that agreed to still support me and stand with me on my big day. Ash’s extended family was coming into town and it was really good to meet more of his family.
Remember how I told you there was a major drought in Oklahoma that year? No rain all summer or fall up to this point, but would you believe it? There was a chance of rain for the following day, the day of the wedding.
We prayed and I hoped for the best, but early Saturday morning I woke up to the sound of rain pouring. It was hard not to feel down about it, this wasn’t how it was supposed to be! Being so far out in the country we didn’t have many options either!
So we decided to just make the best of it and we would get married in the shop surrounded by tables and chairs. My isle would be weaving around tables but golly we were going to get married that day! The guys hurried about trying to find new parking places for people, and help the wedding guest get into the shop without getting too wet, the ladies were trying to keep food warm and rearrange the reception set up for ceremony. A few ladies were in the basement with me doing my hair and getting me ready.
I was surprisingly calm about the rain, I didn’t even really care anymore. Our story was far from perfect so why stress about it now? As long as we could get married by the end of the day I would be happy.
Getting pictures with the wedding party proved to be a little bit of a struggle, but we did our best and the photographer promised a second shoot out by our planned wedding site on a sunnier day.
There was SO much rain! All the farmers came to the wedding, literally everyone we invited in the area came because there was nothing else for them to do!
The shop was packed with guest, it was time, my almost-father-in-law was all dressed up in a black cowboy hat and black vest. He had to help me in my long white dress, from the house, down a lot of wet, wooden stairs to the shop under an umbrella. We got to the shop, he opened the door and let me walk in first. It was nearly impossible for us both to walk side by side around the tight tables, so I walked first and he followed me till we got to the open area where Ash and wedding party stood.
It was so imperfect, yet I wouldn’t change it for the world. After months of fighting to be together, here we stood, surrounded by the most trustworthy of friends. This was right.
We said our vows and Ash did a fancy swoop with me for our kiss, and everyone cheered. As Ash and I went around to each table to greet everyone we heard over and over and over again that Rain is the greatest sign of God blessing our marriage. It made my heart overflow, even though NOT having rain was what I planned, God blessed all the weary farmers in that area the day we got married, because of the rain.
There was no send off for us, it was so muddy and still raining, we said our good byes and Ash carried me to his truck. The bottom of my dress was covered in red Oklahoma mud and I even had a muddy foot print on my train, (I think that was from my father-in-law following me around tables.)
We drove to our 80 acres with the single wide mobile home, Ash carried me into our first home. Nothing else mattered in the world, we were together and no one could do anything about it. The next morning we headed to the mountains for our honeymoon. It was perfect. No phones, no internet, no one knew who we were. Just Husband and Wife for life. After 5 days in the cutest tiny cabin with the most gorgeous view and a splendid hot tub we had to come back to face reality.
Reality was that life wasn’t all butterflies and rainbows after we got married. We still to this day struggle from Ash’s past being brought up. It has made us not be able to be apart of certain groups, and events, it has separated us from friends, it’s meant polygraphs, house visits from the parole officer, me being interrogated slightly by a dirty parole officer and it has even forced us from our home and eventually moving out of state.
However that is jumping way ahead, the point is we were together and coming home to our first HOME. The home that in the coming year we would bring home our first daughter and later I would birth two others in that very kitchen.
It was our home, it was a home where Ash spent years building me up and helping me tear down years of no self confidence and be who God wanted me to be, not who my father wanted. It was the home were 2 years later my father would try to make things right with us and that relationship would start to heal. It was the home for our first arguments and where we made first love.
The greatest part is that we have ALWAYS a team fighting for each other when the past comes up, it’s never been a question whether we belong together or not.
“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mat.19:6